Baby’s First Tarot Deck

The only card game I acknowledge is Uno. A well-played Draw 4 can make or break a friendship during 3rd period and in high school, I was a beast. Spades has always alluded me. So much anger. Empty Schwepps bottles and flipped kitchen tables. Lifelong enemies made due to deck cuts gone wrong. Shrug. Renegers gon neg. I still don’t get the concept.

Tarot cards have always intrigued yet scared me. I’m a 90s kid who watched Carmen/Beyonce die because Wyclef pulled a bad hand. Cards Never Lie and whatnot. So standing at the base of a too-tall shelving unit packed with tarot cards terrified me. I walked in and walked back out; my Baptist background screaming in the back of my mind to get thee away from this place. Heading to my car I stopped. I went back and stood again at the shelf. I picked out my first pack of tarot cards.

I’ve already received my first concern. More of a caution. To not head down this path. To turn away from this evil notion of God daring to reach me another way. I touch my belly: the physical space where my fiery intuition sits always at the ready, navigating dreams most allow to remain surface. And I carry on. As I shared in a previous post, God is hilarious. And between this new walk and unlearning old tendencies, I’m extremely cautious. I’m hesitant to follow just anyone’s doctrines and teachings. So I dove into what’s felt right to me.

Fast forward to my first reading. I sat on my bed shuffling cards as a friend waited on the other end of the call. I asked her to form her questions with specifics and warned her to not take the cards at face value. Carmen shoulda been told this. I pulled 7 cards, tried out a new spread, felt good and open when my mind went blank. The words fell out of my mouth to silence. Intuition is a funny thing. It presents itself as a longing, aching pull at your soul that your mind immediately tells you to dismiss. Dat ain’t real. You’re overreacting. Or worse: you’re crazy. Shutting off the faucet of my mind settled my spirit and I gave a well-received reading.

I haven’t become fully initiated yet. I don’t wear my crystals on my forehead (wear ‘em in my bra) or pull cards every single morning, even though I should. I struggle between my mind and intuition daily. I second guess while moving forward. Helping people see things otherwise elusive to them is the greatest honor as I’ve become hip to my own destiny. It’s been beautiful and exhausting. But #blessed.